Recovering Pessimist

ART SAVES.

You can contact me at kitty.unfiltered@gmail.com

My rape is a plot twist?

I blamed my rape on myself. Me! A fervent feminist since the tender age of thirteen.

At 18, I *just knew* that my rape was because I was drunk, it was valentines day, he was my boyfriend. I *knew* that he loved me.

My rape was none of those things. I was gone, wasted, trashed. I had thrown up, couldn’t walk, couldn’t speak. Couldn’t consent. I though my rape could have been a dream!

Until I asked him what happened the next day.

First he said “you were drunk. You asked for a shower.” I asked him if he fucked me. He looked shocked. He said yes. He knew it was wrong.

I never reported him. I never pressed charges. I was a bad plaintiff. I just told him never to do that again. I went back to bed with a wicked hangover.

How can I trust men? I can I trust half the population when they know rape is wrong but still commit acts of violence. When they still betray our trust?

I’ve only ever been with demanding, abusive men. I don’t know what is next.

Do you?

Posted
3 months ago

So my fiancé has this dumbass friend who keeps bringing up feminism and women’s rights and sexism when I repeatedly have told him that WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THESE THINGS because A) He believes horrible toxic things and is a horrible sexist B) also happens to be one of my fiancé’s oldest and closest friends.

I keep telling him that if we’re supposed to coexists we do not discuss these thins. Because all he wants to do is upset me and make me think I’m “hysterical” or something. He just wants to screw with me. So I drew a line and told him DO NOT CROSS IF YOU WANT TO STAY FRIENDS WITH MY FIANCÉ. Because if he doesn’t cut the crap he will be banned from our house, he won’t be allowed near our children and I will make it hard for him to participate in my social circle because I do not have to be around someone who disrespects my boundaries and tries to make me sick. I don’t need to expose my children to someone who blatantly disrespects their mother. My basic human rights will not be trumped by his compulsion to trod on my boundaries.

But of course he just can’t respect that request. He messages me videos and articles of things that are toxic and maddening and hurtful and I show all these conversations to my fiancé because he KNOWS I have this line and he knows that anyone who cannot respect me and my needs cannot be allowed in our home or around our children.

Of course this dumbass boy tries to make ME seem horrible and like I’m pushing “all his friends away” and making my fiancé miserable when really I know my value and I know that anyone who can’t simply NOT MENTION A THING around me is not someone who I need to put up with in my safe spaces. LIKE MY HOME.

I told him that he clearly doesn’t want to be in my fiancé’s life if he can’t respect that request. That any alienation is all on him and not me, because it’s his actions that are fucking up his relationship with my future husband.

Seriously, I do not need to put up with someone who is vile and disrespectful to me. Say all what you will about free speech, but I decide who is allowed in my home and around my children. Which ultimately makes that jerk’s involvement in my husband’s life very slim.

Notes
1
Posted
3 months ago

I wish I could be a boy and do boy things like benefit from the patriarchy and pee standing up.

Posted
7 months ago

naazee:

we post about misandry and hating men but let’s be real even in our wildest dreams we can never hate them as much as they hate us 

(via pinkhairedlesbianadventures)

Notes
4751
Posted
7 months ago

vvtvrmom:

I just looked outside to check the patriarchy and apparently it’s reigning men

(via pinkhairedlesbianadventures)

Notes
59825
Posted
7 months ago

Me, after explaining to my fiancé that he better still go down on me after birthing our future children, no matter how “ugly” my vagina gets.

RESPECT THE LIFE-GIVER!
Posted
9 months ago
solanumtoxicity:

chernobylkinsmen:

myplannedparenthood:

emtabet:

Birth Control 101 by *TomPreston

So, is this close to the truth now, do you think?

Yep.
The irony, of course, is that the same people who think this way tend to want women to be good only for sex. There’s no winning.

Y’know, I never thought I’d reblog a comic by Tom Preston of all people, but this comic and its commentary are pretty much accurate.
Damn, America. You cray.

solanumtoxicity:

chernobylkinsmen:

myplannedparenthood:

emtabet:

Birth Control 101 by *TomPreston

So, is this close to the truth now, do you think?

Yep.

The irony, of course, is that the same people who think this way tend to want women to be good only for sex. There’s no winning.

Y’know, I never thought I’d reblog a comic by Tom Preston of all people, but this comic and its commentary are pretty much accurate.

Damn, America. You cray.

(via size10plz)

Notes
73114
Posted
10 months ago

The Evil Feminist

Excellently put. If men can watch porn because they ‘love women’, but women can’t even say we hate our rapists, what the fuck are we learning about our interactions? What are we learning about men? And what does it all say about ‘the rules’?

Women’s anger is scary. They fear our withdrawal from their lives; we fear their participation in ours. (via thentheysaidburnher)

(via size10plz)

Women have to do so little to be declared “man haters”. All we have to do is name male violence for what it is. It is at this point the patriarchally minded step in and throw the “man hating” cliche into the mix. But in doing so, what men have done to women is forgotten, brushed under the carpet, ushered into the corner with candy with the hope it’ll be forgotten.

But for a man to be declared a “woman hater” he has to do so much more. Even when men abuse, rape, prostitute and kill women, they’re excused… His victim’s actions are looked for as if his hatred was a logical reaction to her own actions.

The liberals forget how ingrained woman hating is… from that moment a baby is killed for being female, to the child’s growth, through adulthood- womanhood is something to be despised, to be destroyed. Women are hated freely and easily. Men become the untouchables… we are not allowed to criticise them, lest we be labelled men haters.

But if all it takes to be labelled a man hater is to speak out unrelentlessly against male violence, to despise the violence done to my sisters, then I’ll wear that label… I’ll write it myself, and I’ll scream it from the rooftops. I’d rather be a man hater than stop addressing male violence for what it is.

Notes
17146
Posted
10 months ago

(via mancerayder)

(Source: owlonthesill, via size10plz)

Swear to God, I can’t stand to hear a woman claim that she thinks like a guy and hates women because they’re all catty. That’s misogyny. The very fact that you, as a woman, think differently than how a socially-stereotyped woman is supposed to think is proof that our gender “norms” are fucking us over. Women are not all alike. Some of us like football. Some of us like talking on the phone. Some of us like religion. Some of us are emotional. Some of us speak three languages. Some of us have boyfriends. Some of us have girlfriends. Some of us wear lipstick. Some of us don’t shave our pits. Some of us have kids. Some of us worry we’ll drop our best friend’s baby. Now please stop claiming that you don’t act like a woman. It doesn’t make you a special fucking snowflake. It makes you a perpetrator of misogyny.

Notes
42408
Posted
10 months ago
badass-bharat-deafmuslimpunkstar:

An Indian woman, a Japanese woman, and a Syrian woman, all training to be doctors at Women’s Medical College of Philadelphia, 1880s. (Image courtesy Legacy Center, Drexel University College of Medicine Archives, Philadelphia, PA. Image #p0103) (x)

badass-bharat-deafmuslimpunkstar:

An Indian woman, a Japanese woman, and a Syrian woman, all training to be doctors at Women’s Medical College of Philadelphia, 1880s. (Image courtesy Legacy Center, Drexel University College of Medicine Archives, Philadelphia, PA. Image #p0103) (x)

(Source: badass-bharat-deafmuslim-artista, via kittenqveen)

Notes
51017
Posted
10 months ago

Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via albinwonderland)

(Source: queeringmisogyny, via size10plz)

The abusive man’s problem with anger is almost the opposite of what is commonly believed. The reality is:

Your abusive partner doesn’t have a problem with HIS anger; he has a problem with YOUR anger.

One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you —as will happen to any abused woman from time to time —he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straightjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.

Notes
15824
Posted
10 months ago
"Steven Moffat doesn't write strong, independent female characters." →

theprancingdragon:

cumberbitchsandwich:

herecomesthetardis:

REALLY?

image

ARE

image

WE

image

EVEN

image

WATCHING

image

THE

image

SAME

image

SHOWS

image

Word.

WOW OK LET’S GO THROUGH THIS LIST.

IRENE ADLER BEAT SHERLOCK HOLMES IN THE ORIGINAL CANON. MOFFAT REWROTE IT SO HER…

(Source: warrioroftheamazon)

Notes
22807
Posted
10 months ago

Wait, so since women have been oppressed by men for centuries, does that mean its offensive for me to dress as a girl?

jetpack-johnny:

According to feminists yes. They call trans peel and crossdressers gender traitors

I think you’re angry at “radfems” AKA radical feminists. Those guys are gender essentialists and would call you and those like you “gender traitors” as you mentioned.

They’re also trans*phobic which I hate. A lot. I reject radfem philosophy.

(Source: theofficialariel)

Notes
14
Posted
11 months ago
Kitty Unfiltered: Teaching your White Heterosexual Cismale fiancé about racism & sexism gets crazy hard sometimes. →

jetpack-johnny:

heterosexism:

jetpack-johnny:

logicd:

kittyunfiltered:

I mean, he’s willing & able to learn, but he’s also so entrenched in his privilege and bias he doesn’t totally see how prevalent and gross these issues are, yet. He sees it more than he did before and every conversation he learns more but at the same time it’s exhausting because you still hear

I’m shocked you have a fiance to be honest

Clearly she is a racist sexist pig

I glanced at her blog. That poor guy. I hope he runs while he still has a chance.

-Meph

Me too, I feel bad for guys like that

Five bucks says she beats him mercilessly whenever he disagrees with her horrible sexist racist opinion

Read this whole thing out loud to my fiancé and his response was:

"Wait, they’re saying YOU’RE the racist-sexist? That’s my job! Melody, you know how I feel about job security."

Notes
14
Posted
11 months ago
Kitty Unfiltered: Teaching your White Heterosexual Cismale fiancé about racism & sexism gets crazy hard sometimes. →

logicd:

kittyunfiltered:

I mean, he’s willing & able to learn, but he’s also so entrenched in his privilege and bias he doesn’t totally see how prevalent and gross these issues are, yet. He sees it more than he did before and every conversation he learns more but at the same time it’s exhausting because you still hear

I’m shocked you have a fiance to be honest

Known him since we were 13 and he proposed 4 months ago after 10 years of us living our lives separately while carrying huge torches for the other.

TBH I don’t know why “antifeminists” think it’s impossible for feminists to fall in love with men/want to marry them/be married to them. I am romantically and sexually attracted to men. I’m not a radfem lesbian separatist. In my baby feminist days I certainly toyed with that philosophy but I ultimately rejected radfem as hateful and as supporting the patriarchal system that screws everyone over.

I don’t believe in gender essentialism. I don’t believe that the social gender roles we are raised to believe as innate are actually innate. I think evolutionary psychology is a load of hogswash 99% of the time.

I also have loved the young man who was the little boy I met in the back of my home room class who had gorgeous blue eyes, beautiful curly hair, a heart-stopping smile and was reading classic literature when I was surrounded by philistines who refused to believe reading could be fun. And that young man fell in love with the woman who was the little girl who called out sexism, fought with and stared down bullies and (I’m quoting him, mind you) had a smile that could light up a room, and lit up his heart.

So yea. We’re more complicated than we were at 13. Everyone is. But we love the complications too. I love him and his background. I just want him to see why I take these things seriously, because they are.

When a random invades my personal space when I’m a rape survivor with PTSD, he should be upset on my behalf for more reasons than just protecting me, his fiancé from being triggered. No one should touch anyone, regardless of their psychological state, without permission.

Which he’s learned. But maybe not internalized 100%.

Notes
14
Posted
11 months ago
TotallyLayouts has Tumblr Themes, Twitter Backgrounds, Facebook Covers, Tumblr Music Player and Tumblr Follower Counter