what it basically boils down to is this:
maaaybe i’m a feminist killjoy and freedom-of-speech oppressor who “can’t take a joke”
or maybe, just maybe
you’re a racist misogynist with a shitty sense of humor who “can’t take criticism”.
Debenhams shows diversity in fashion…
By Kay, Editorial Assistant , The Debenhams Blog
“Here at Debenhams we believe that anyone can look fabulous in our range- which is why we’ve decided to break with Convention…
“Our Customers are not the same shape or size so our latest look book celebrates this diversity. We would be delighted if others followed our lead. Hopefully these shots will be a step, albeit a small one, towards more people feeing more comfortable about their boidies,’” said Ed Watson, Director of PR, Debenhams”
““Ms. Norman” another kid called, “Have you heard about that rape case in Ohio? Those guys got convicted. They have to go to jail. They are going to lose their scholarships. They were going to D-1 schools!”
“Well…”I responded, feeling the heat crawl up my neck, “maybe they are going to jail for rape because THEY ARE RAPISTS!” I yelled those last three words at my kids and watched as some of them blinked in surprise. Apparently, the thought had never occurred to them that these athletes who were convicted of rape, were in fact rapists.
It is a strange thing about looking into the face of a 15-year-old, to really see who they are. You still see the small child that their mother sees. You see the man or woman they will be before they graduate. They are babies whose innocence you want desperately to protect. They are old enough to know better, even if no one has taught them.
I realized then that some of my kids were genuinely confused. “How can she be raped?” they asked, “She wasn’t awake to say no.” These words out of a full fledged adult would have made me furious. I did get a good few minutes in response on victim blaming and why it is so terrible. But out of the face of a kid who still has baby fat, those words just made me sick. My students are still young enough, that mostly they just spout what they have learned, and they have learned that absent a no, the yes is implied.
It is uncomfortable to think that some of the students you still call babies have the potential to be rapists. It is sickening, it is terrifying, but it is true. It is a reality we have to face. My students have lived in a world for fifteen years where the joke “she probably wanted it” isn’t really a joke, they need to unlearn some lessons that no one will admit to teaching them.
Standing in front of my classroom and stating that a woman’s clothing choice is never permission to rape her should not be a radical act. But only a few heads nodded in agreement. Most were stunned, like this was a completely new thought. The follow up questions were terrifying in their earnestness. “Ms. Norman, you mean a woman walking down the street naked is not her inviting sex? How will I know she wants to have sex?” A surprisingly bold voice came out of a girl in the back “You’ll know when she says, you want to have sex?!”
If you want to keep teens from being rapists, you can no longer assume that they know how. You HAVE to talk about it. There is no longer a choice. It is no longer enough to talk to our kids about the mechanics of sex, it probably never was. We have to talk about consent, what it means, and how you are sure you have it. We have to teach clearly and boldly that consent is (in the words of Dianna E. Anderson) an enthusiastic, unequivocal YES!”
-A selection from an excellent blog post by Abby Norman, a 9th grade teacher who, after introducing a poem to the class for discussion, accidentally found herself teaching them about consent.
This is why it is SO IMPORTANT to talk about consent as a yes instead of a lack of no. And why we must TEACH it instead of assuming that people already understand.
Instead of “No means no” we need “Only YES means YES.”
motivation behind misogyny:
- men maintaining power over women
results of misogyny:
- rape, abuse, murder, lower pay, less opportunities, general discrimination and loss of power, restrictive gender roles, and much, much more.
motivation behind misandry:
- men as a group sure do a lot of bad things as a result of their gendered power and male privilege, im not sure that i trust them or even like them.
results of misandry:
- hurt feelings
Female privilege is getting to claim a headache to avoid sex.
Female oppression is having to claim physical illness to avoid sex because men won’t take a simple fucking “no” for an answer.
Female oppression is men being so entitled that they think being denied sex is oppressive.
Ethiopian girl guarded from gang rape & assault by three lions.
“The girl had been taken by seven men who wanted to force her to marry one of them. She was beaten repeatedly. Then the lions chased off her captors. The three lions guarded her for about half a day. They stood guard until we found her and then they just left her like a gift and went back into the forest.”
Then, Stuart Williams (the local wildlife ‘expert’) suggests that perhaps the lions mistook the 12 year old girl’s cries for a lion cub. Which seems awfully silly, considering that lions are perfectly capable of telling apart the gazelles they eat from their own cubs, aren’t they?
#and surely if an animal knows rape is wrong people should too
MAJESTIC CREATURE OF JUSTICE
I’m not a misandrist, but if a waiter is going to flirt with me all evening and then not give me his phone number, he’s not getting a tip. It’s his job to please the customer!
Uhh, that IS Misandry, you didn’t pay him, because he wouldn’t give you the D…
Jeez, can’t you take a joke?
It clearly says it’s NOT misandry, so that makes it all ok
I can’t be a misandrist, some of my best friends are men
I didn’t really care until I found out that Westboro Baptist Church has 85. Fewer people listen to me that the WBC. I just need 11 more followers. Halp?
I’m a liberal, a military brat, a feminist, a nursing student, into Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Marvel and DC comics, art and fashion (in theory). I post WAY better stuff than the WBC.
So yea. Follow me
They can’t win. They cannot win. Everything we’ve worked for, I’ve worked for, nearly my entire life will be dismissed, invalidated, made illegal or otherwise destroyed—families, marriages, relationships, employment. Romney and Ryan are for the dehumanization of women, the poor, and gays. Romney and Ryan are for hate crimes removing the “problem” of gays. Romney and Ryan are for arresting people who simply disagree with them.
They want a police state with the rich utterly supported and the poor crushed under their heels. They want to throw the country back to where problems were solved by execution, not discussion.
They cannot win. We’re doomed if they do.
